Over Christmas break (in fact, I think it was December 26th) I was hanging out with an old friend of mine from high school. We had just gone to a little Christmas/reunion party and thought to ourselves "Why must the night be over so soon? Where could we go to keep talking?" Now, if you knew the town I come from you would realize why late night get-togethers are limited to one's home, assuming one does not live with the parentals. However, we thought of one exception, and found ourselves venturing out for a midnight shopping spree at Wal Mart.

Wal Mart isn't the worst place to hang out. There are plenty of random things to stimulate conversation. I ended up getting a new pair of headphones and a bag of Starbursts, among other things, and by the time we reached the checkout, it had been a full night. I stood there, patiently, in the express line, glancing at the last-minute candy bars and magazines they want you to buy. My eye fell on a stack of black totes, which read "Paper or Plastic? Neither." Pretentious? Maybe. But only a dollar! I couldn't pass that up.

I handed my treasures over to the cashier, a woman of about 40 who wore a look that suggested she would rather be somewhere else the night after Christmas (not that I blamed her). She robotically ran each one over the scanner and placed it in the plastic sack that stood open on its little metal rack. I expected her to reach the end and realize she should transfer my groceries into the new tote, but she actually took the tote (not even a pause) and stuffed it in the plastic bag as well!

I gave a little laugh, thinking to myself, "Really?" The lady didn't blink. She gave me my total, and as I swiped my card I pleasantly threw out there a little "you know, you can just put it all in that one" (indicating my new anti-paper/plastic bag). I thought maybe that would gently snap her out of autopilot, but she retorted "Not until you leave the store, I can't."

I was flabberghasted. "But I have my receipt," I tried. She gave me a frustrated sigh and didn't back down. "It's the store rule," she claimed, unconvincingly. "But the whole reason I'm getting this bag is so I don't need to use one of..." I changed tactics, and said "Well, if I come back, will I be able to use it then?" She shrugged and said "Yeah."

I smiled and quietly took my purchase over to a nearby register. I worked at a grocery store for three years in high school, so I felt perfectly comfortable jumping over to an unattended plastic bag-rack. I took my stuff out of the sack she gave me and transferred into my enviro-tote, looking once over my shoulder ... impishly hoping she saw me, and slightly disappointed when I realized she no longer graced me with her attention.

I smiled victoriously at my friend, and she laughed as we walked out of Wal Mart ... without plastic bags.

Yes, I am slamming Wal Mart employees, but more than that, I'm commenting on the ironic actions people take when they work in such a place. Feel free to contradict me! I would love to restore my faith in the superstores that I so often finding myself shopping at for pure convenience. I suppose I'm just as bad, huh?